(Originally posted 3rd November, 2007)
A few years ago, when I was living in London, I lived with a girl named Jen. I had lived with her twice before, both times in Christchurch. It worked well. There was much smoking, drinking of coffee and reading of Don Delillo. We would often complain about things in glorious synchronicity. Sometimes we would play the card game 500 or speed and wager things like coffee making duties, cigarettes or naming rights for either of our firstborn children. Such chuckling took place at the hilarity.
We had been flatting together for some months in London when my brother John moved in with us. They would frequently have sex. I was quite impressed and pleased with the fact that I never once heard them, considering the thinness of the walls. They soon decided to have sex and smoke and drink coffee together in a semi-professional way. It was at that juncture that I decided to move out and leave them to it as I didn’t want to screw up my record of never having seen or heard them rutting.
They moved to Australia and the coffee drinking and sex having continued, allegedly, but, to the annoyance and surprise of the rest of us in the heavily smoking Greville family, the cigarette smoking was given up. It seemed a lifestyle that suited them and a certain, possibly envious, amount of happiness followed.
My other brother married earlier this year, shortly followed by my sister. Jen & john, not to be out done, continued drinking coffee, having sex and not smoking. I saw them not smoking and drinking coffee, so I can prove that. The sex having is evidenced by the birth of their son, Leo, on this past Thursday, the 2nd of November 2007.
I have trouble imagining 2 people who will make better parents. I am awed and proud and amazed.
I can’t wait to meet him.
That said, I have the naming rights, won in a game of speed in 1997, to the child. I want this known. I’m not going to get pushy about it, though. In fact I knew, were the baby to turn out a he, the name was to be Leo. I really like the name. What I didn’t mention was that my star sign is Leo and so I choose to believe that he is named after me. I would appreciate it if no one challenged this view. It also allows me to formally renounce my naming rights; all I hope for, instead, is to be allowed to read some passages from Don Delillo. Weirdly, that would make me a happy uncle.
I declare and pass on my love and admiration to the newly crystallized family of Jen, john and Leo. I’m glad you guys kept on having sex.